


Wizard I: Mulder and Mutants and Babes, Oh My

by audrey_cooper



Series: Wizard [1]
Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-27
Updated: 2014-07-27
Packaged: 2018-02-10 14:13:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2028102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/audrey_cooper/pseuds/audrey_cooper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scully tries to get some perspective as she reflects on her life with Mulder over the past four years. Post El Mundo Gira.</p>
<p>Spoilers: Tons - up to and including U.S. fourth season episode El Mundo Gira.  </p>
<p>Originally posted January, 1997</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wizard I: Mulder and Mutants and Babes, Oh My

*****

Just how far would you go, Agent Scully?

How far?

Agent Scully?

*****

Dana Katherine Scully pushed open the door to her apartment then collapsed back on it, slamming it shut with a bang. She tossed her overnight case down on the floor, settled her laptop a bit more gently beside it, then threw her coat and keys violently across the room. The keys knocked over her favorite crystal vase and it shattered with a crash on the hardwood floor.

Figures. This was ridiculous. In-fucking-credible.

She stomped across the room and flung herself onto the couch, raising a good amount of dust. 

That's another thing. Can't even keep the damned apartment clean with all this gallivanting around the country, looking for lights in the sky.

She kicked off her shoes and fell over on the couch, dragging the afghan from the top over her, closing her eyes tightly and clenching her teeth.

Transients. _Fortean_ events. Getting chewed by Skinner. 

Again.

The only constants in her life over the past four years had been her mother; Larry, Curley and Moe -- those crazy paranoiacs the Lone Gunmen; Skinner; that cigarette smoking bastard; that son-of-a-bitch Krycek; and fucking Mulder. No, wait. She didn't even get the pleasure of fucking him. Step back. What's wrong with this picture?

What does it say about your life that the only men in it are conspiracy theorists, conspirators, or conspiracy chasers?

*****

How far?

How far would you go?

*****

The first year was bad enough. That beast woman. Those creepy twins. The Mrs. Spooky comments. Werewolves. John Barnett. Killer parasites from the arctic ice. Jack Willis. Tooms, that lovable liver-eating mutant. Brother Andrew. Killer bugs and getting locked in quarantine. Luther Lee Boggs. That HAL wannabe. Deep Throat getting whacked. E.B.E.s. Cecil L'ively and the enchanting Phoebe Green. 

Her father.

*****

Her cell phone rang. She scrounged around on the floor until she came up with her coat, dug in the pockets until she found the phone, and turned it off.

*****

The next year was worse. The X Files closed down. Clandestine meetings with Mulder. An entity rapist. The Flukeman. Donnie Pfaster. Satanists. The spores from hell and quarantine again. Bill Mulder's death. Voodoo. Carnival freaks. Invisible elephants. Cannibals. Killer shadows. Exploding boils. The Terminator, live and in person. More E.B.E.s. Duane Barry. That son-of-a-bitch Alex Krycek. 

And, say hey, Dana, let's not forget those three missing months.

*****

The phone rang. She got up and turned the ringer off, then dropped back down on the couch, her hand over her eyes. The answering machine clicked on, taking its message silently. Fuck off, Mulder. The doctor is _not_ in.

*****

Last year was a banner year. Lightning Boy. Chinese organ stealers. Being suspended. Cockroaches and that entomologist _Bambi_. Killer kitties. Lucy Householder. A fat-sucking mutant. Mr. Bruckman. Astral projection. Jose Chung. Big Blue. Maggots galore at that prison. Skinner getting set up with that prostitute. The implant. Kevin Kryder. Comity and that bleached blonde Detective White. Gargoyles. Robert Patrick Modell. Lots and lots of files. Krycek. Subliminal cable devices. Mulder's psychotic behavior, death and resurrection. 

And Melissa.

*****

She swiped her hand over her eyes. Let it go, Dana. The high point last year was shooting Mulder. What about this year? How was it looking? She concentrated on enumerating.

*****

This year was shaping up to be...what? Bees. Mrs. Mulder's stroke. An ice-pick wielding serial killer. X biting the dust. The Terminator, making a return engagement with an ice-pick of his own. That blonde at the U.N. Killer rocks. John Lee Roche. Incestuous baby killers. Fortean events and killer athlete's foot. Getting locked up for contempt of Congress. Krycek _again_. 

And past lives, God save us all. 

The year had just begun.

*****

For what?

The truth?

The truth was that Fox Mulder was never going to fall naked into her bed and let her play doctor with him. The truth was that he had been, just like his namesake, leading her on a merry chase, and, like a dog, she had been following, hoping to catch him. The truth was that he was never going to wake up and realize that he was in love with her. That she was in love with him.

The only thing that mattered to him was his search for the truth. But he couldn't see the truth when it had been staring him in the face, challenging him, saving his ass for more than four years. Scully heaved out a sigh. 

It was time to stop and take another look at that truth.

There was much to be said for friendship. For loyalty. For shared experience. For covering your partner's ass. It was such a nice ass, after all. 

Mulder and mutants and babes, oh my.

But not this much. Uh-huh. No way, no how. 

No more.

No. More.

*****

Agent Scully?

_____  
End

**Author's Note:**

> Big thanks, as always, to DP, for beta reading and being there. 
> 
> I would appreciate feedback in any shape or form. So, please, let me know what you think...
> 
> Oh, and by the way, these stories don't have a damned thing to do with the Wizard of Oz. 
> 
> Disclaimer: Ok, guys and gals, you know the drill... Mulder and Scully don't belong to me. Neither do any of the other characters mentioned in this story. They are the creations and property of Chris Carter, Fox Broadcasting, and 1013 Productions, and have been used without permission.
> 
> M: "We almost had it, Scully. We were right there."  
> S: "I know."  
> M: "We'll have to try it again."  
> The X Files, Born Again


End file.
